Loss and Love

Loss first: Bryan went back home to his family in the US while I was gone. Now I have no little three year old running around the house laughing and asking me to push his bike and trying so hard to play cards and learn the numbers while we play Phase 10. My host family calls every day and his parents send pictures of him grinning with his one-year-old sister. Thank goodness for smart phones in this country. It's sad that he's gone, but good for him that he's back with his family and preparing to start preschool and learning English and playing with his baby sister. Gotta love him. Also, our pet bird got bitten by a dog and died last week.

 

Now, on to the love.
I love my cohort. On Monday we spent six hours in a bus from Tunco to San Salvador, then San Salvador to Perquín, and I couldn't help thinking how lucky we are that we all ended up here in this country in this program for these two years. We are such wildly different people, but somehow together we make this awesome group.

Last weekend was a free weekend to get together as a group at the beach and get to know the Youth Development group better. We had a good time and there were many fun shenanigans, including our own mini-olympics in honor of the winter Olympics (Yay Colorado!!), a skype with my sister (Yay internet!), a romp in the waves, a walk on the beach, a game of pool, good music and good company. A break from beans and eggs - think coffee ice cubes (excellent idea), pear and gorgonzola pizza, Rouge Brewery Mocha Porter, fantastic smoothies, chinese food made to order, and some magic in the hostel kitchen - also kept us dreamy-eyed all weekend.
I keep thinking about our group, our strange little mix, and getting all happy inside. I don't know how to express the feeling - anything I can think of, someone in our group has experience in it; any support I need, someone will give it; any mood I'm in, someone will be down to join in (or give me space). I have expanded my musical, literary and general interests because of my group. We get nostalgic over NPR. We are crazy and funny and serious and emotional and we fit together. It was an awesome realization to make this week, and all the more appropriate because others felt the same way (Alex also has a picture of all of us, which I, unfortunately, do not.)

The HIV/AIDS training was great. For a start, the trainings never went past noon. That meant lots of time to hang out, make bracelets, read, watch people sing and dance, watch Beyonce (they still haven't gotten over the new album so it's pretty much on repeat all day every day), play games (I WON Settlers of Catan! It was even more epic because it was a sneak attack and no one even knew I had points until I swept them all), get some internet, and generally just appreciate the awesome that is our COED group. On the training side, we got to do all sorts of activities to teach about HIV/AIDS, then the final day we split into groups of three to teach the entire workshop to groups of twenty teenagers. They were surprisingly well-informed on the topic, and enthusiastic to the end (perhaps because we were taking over their math class, but I'll take what I can get).

I actually had a good time giving the workshop, which I suppose adds another point in the "I like kids and teaching kids" checkbox. It's a good thing Peace Corps is only two years. I wouldn't want to get carried away and get stuck teaching the rest of my life (not that I have anything against teachers, it's just not the career for me). I will say that teaching kids is much more fun than running meetings. Kids don't expect anything except fun. Adults want things from me. Scary.
This brings me to today. Today I ran another meeting with my women's group, and broke the news to them that they have to elect a directiva and start thinking of things they can bring to the table. I feel like I'm diverting attention from the fact that I am absolutely failing at getting a sewing class for them. It has been weeks and weeks and I still haven't sent in the paper because I don't have enough IDs and I just recently got up the courage to ask the ADESCO if they would support me. I didn't ask before because I was failing them by doing absolutely nothing about this latrine project they want.

Why don’t I space things out? I make lists then sit around and eat chocolate, proud of myself for having made a list. I spent a week doing nothing at all of any importance, then I had our third women’s meeting and had to visit 25 houses to get information, contact two NGOs, call the health promoter, pack for a week out of site, plan a year of English lessons, plan a year of sports classes, convince a family to let me use their house for sewing classes, send the request for the sewing class (still not done), and make a materials and cost list for paper flowers. Oh look! More lists! I also wanted to finish Mad About the Boy by Helen Fielding (done) and not do any of the things listed above. I should probably have a 9-5 job with no work to take home and defined tasks that are actually doable in a work day. Not that it’s not cool to have the women’s group actually functioning, but it feels a lot like work. I do like the fact that I can take the afternoon to go to the river, though. And I can spend a week in HIV/AIDS training without any repercussions (except, if I don’t call the health promotor pronto, that my dog may get pregnant). And I can make bracelets and play games with kids and call it work. Ok, it’s a pretty cool job I have right now. 

Interestingly, surrounded by a population with an average education level of fourth grade, I find myself missing college. I was hoping that Peace Corps would re-ignite my interest in going to graduate school, and it most definitely has. I am not even six months into my two years and I am ready to get some structure and have class every day and write essays and exercise my brain and have wifi everywhere all the time and have an apartment with a kitchen and my beautiful kitchen set that I have been compiling for the last four years and eat nothing fried (except for french fries and maybe donuts) ever again. I email back and forth with friend imagining our imaginary house with our imaginary puppies and imaginary kitchen and imaginary plants and imaginary life and travels. I’m ready for my sister to come. I’m ready for grad school. I’m only five months in. Damn. Take a breath, slow down, and do the tasks for this week.  

Book Count: 34

New Book Count: 27